Welcome to my life. Please enjoy your stay. You only need to log in if you want to access soap recipes and tutorials. Otherwise just look around, visit and let me know your thoughts on my thoughts.
Self Care: A concept to reconsider

Every time I hear the phrase “self-care” it makes me cringe. To me the concept means that you have gotten yourself sucked into the American grind and need a big change in priorities and a lot less to do. I’ve been there. I’ll never be there again.

A couple of definitions at a quick glance say this “What is selfcareSelfcare is any activity that we do deliberately in order to…

Read More

The God Molecule and Me

5-MeO-DMT aka Bufo Toad Medicine is also known as the God or Spirit molecule.

This is an attempt to describe an indescribable experience, one that happened on a different level than language does so it will not be precise,

This was done in ceremony with a very serious and experienced shaman. It was not “recreational”.  My goal was (as always) to see God. (Please realize that my definition of God does not include any personified entity who rules the universe. My…

Read More

Can you question the unquestionable?

When I was about 10 years old I walked into the lobby of a Methodist church, fearfully, rebelliously and excitedly, and waited. I physically braced myself as you do before a car crash. I stood perfectly still. Nothing happened. After a while I worked up the nerve to walk through the lobby into the sanctuary and stood there for a few minutes. Nothing  happened. Finally I breathed and checked the place out.

What I had been waiting for was the wrath…

Read More

My first sexual encounter, on video.

Not many people my age have video of their very first sexual “encounter”. I do. It was October 25, 1964. I was twelve and a half.

I’m not sure that I even knew what sex was at that time and had been well repressed enough to never have explored my own body as I’ve heard some little girls did.

It was a Sunday night.  Between 8 and 9 PM. I was sitting in a chair pulled up close to the TV….

Read More

Embrace Your Damaged Self

Here’s something I’ve been watching and thinking about. A lot of people are trying to figure out who and how to be and are pissed off because they are damaged and it’s hard to overcome damage. I used to think, “As smart as I am, imagine what I could have been if I hadn’t had to deal with so much damage just to reach zero” and I was resentful. I didn’t realize that the majority of people ARE damaged,…

Read More

Politics… The Middle Way

Today – after some snoozing – I am going to vote. I am not going as a republican or a democrat. I am not identifying with the left or the right but with The Middle Way.

“At the social and political level, the Middle Way could be expressed as the commitment to upholding respect for the dignity of life and placing it before adherence to a particular political or economic ideology.”*

It saddens me to see the meanness of politics and…

Read More

Two Perspectives – Hope and Hopelessness

love this but there is always another way to look at things, isn’t there?

I believe my life was saved by hopelessness. More than half my life ago now, my struggle was big. My children were small. I went from day to day trying to change, trying to do better, trying to be better. In such struggle we are (probably universally) either unable to see what exactly needs changing or without the ability to make the…

Read More