Life Online
May 2000
I do not seem to have very much in common with the terrestrials anymore. I was never mainstream but I did have adequate social currency for the necessary encounters.
Shared experience of the mundane is IMHO, the true basis of culture and I used to share those experiences with the masses: The bank will no longer accept wrapped change without unwrapping it, counting it and re-wrapping it. Food Lion isn't nearly as good to shop at as Kroegers and both are a far cry from Harris Teeter. The weather has been unseasonably warm. Seinfeld is off the air and Michael J. Fox is ill. Current music, current movies, current fads. These are the units of currency we trade for common experience in each other's lives. It is how bulls meet bears, how republicans and democrats test each other's waters and how new agers and rednecks commune without homicide.
The gap between me and the terrestrials widens in areas of time and space. (It is not yet determined if this is a product of evolution or psychosis) This gap is reflected in my language and in the common usage of the language of others that now sometimes confuses me. Occasionally it occurs to me that if for some unlikely reason the terrestrials had cause to call me into their court of law I would fail to convey the truth as they know it, not because I would lie, but because my definitions keep shifting farther from theirs. Imagine this courtroom scene:
Lawyer: What were you doing on the night of April 25th?
Me: I worked until 10 PM, bought a book at Barnes & Noble, then spent a few minutes looking at the Pandas at the SanDiego Zoo before meeting my friends in the Artist's Cafe
Lawyer: How much time passed between the time you left work and the time you arrived at the Cafe?
Me: Probably about 20 minutes.
Lawyer: Did you talk to anyone at any of these places who might remember you?
Me: Once I got to the cafe, yes. I was engaged in conversation with a number of my friend and aquaintences for hours.
Lawyer: Had you planned to meet your friends ahead of time?
Me: Not exactly although we usually drop in there at night. I got a message while I was looking at the Pandas to come to the Cafe.
Lawyer: I see. And how long did it take you to get there after the message?
Me: About 10 seconds.
Lawyer: So the Zoo and the Cafe are in the same area?
Me: Well...yes I guess they are. They're about that :::clicks her fingers::: far away from each other
Lawyer: Please name for me some of your friends who were there.
Me: Rose, De, Pikl, Lona, ArtSpot, Bambu and a new person named Bali
Lawyer: Is Bali a woman or a man?
Me: I'm not sure.
Lawyer: I see. What were you wearing at the cafe?
Me: A T-shirt
Lawyer: Yes?
Me: Yes
Lawyer: And what else?
Me: Nothing else.
Lawyer: What were your friends wearing?
Me: I don't know.
Lawyer: :::holding up photo of me::: This photograph was shown to your "friend" ArtSpot and she failed to recognize you.
Me: She's never seen me.
Lawyer: Exhibit A shows that your car was in front of your house all night.
Me: Yes, I hadn't left the house in three days.