The Life Changing Miracle of Forgiveness

wedding2

 

MY MIRACLE (ONE OF THEM)

In 1969 at 17 I married Jim. V. In less than two years we had two babies and were separated. We had the ugliest of divorces and were horrid to each other for many many years. Up until 2009 – after many years of trying to make amends and let go of all the old stuff – I would still get a speedy heartbeat when Facebook would suggest him to me as a friend or his name would come up in conversation.

Within the last year when his picture or name would come up I began to think of him almost kindly and could remember why I had loved him. On June 23rd (two months after becoming a oneness blessing giver) I posted the following status update straight from my heart without giving it a lot of thought:

“Forty one years ago today I married Jimmy V. (Christ am I old!) That day – that decision – had greater implications than I ever could have imagined at 17. (Well, none of us expected to live to 30.) Some of the best lessons that made me who I am today came from that era. Thanks Jimmy (kids, you can convey this) I hope you are having a great day. I am.”

Our kids did convey the message.  My magnanimous feelings were a surprise even to me but nothing compared to how I felt when he sent me a note that came from the same place in his heart that I had inhabited when I was 15 and he was 16.  His sending me a loving note was an absolute miracle. After the note I felt the same love for him as I did when we were teenagers. All the hurts of 40 years vanished. The stories remain but they are only stories without any charge to them at all. (My resentments were gone years ago but no sweet feelings took their place) When I think of him I have a heart full of love. I cannot even conjur any bad feelings if I go over the terrible stories in my mind. They just do not exist anymore.

I’ve done a lot of work on my life over many years and perhaps all that work just culminated in the complete transformation that has happened in my life in the last year while I was – coincidentally – involved with the The Oneness Blessing but I would not bet on that. I’ve given you one example of a change, and this was the most drastic single change but is only a fraction of what has occurred in the last year. I feel as though a slight perspective shift has transformed my whole life and brought me to where I always wanted to be.

My first Oneness Blessing was approximately a year ago. I had a striking experience during that blessing. I entered a space as high and wide as I have even been in and after a while my brain sent this little thought that said “I’m sure this is the place where all the answers are but I don’t have my questions”. A higher thought answered “There aren’t even any questions here.”  A year later that is the story of my whole life. I don’t necessarily feel like I have all the answers but I feel like I don’t have any questions. No more questions are necessary. I feel like I have arrived at the place I have always wanted to get to. It seems to have the quality of being irreversible. I’m not saying I’m perfect or won’t be doing any more work but I feel like the transformation that has happened can’t unhappen. (Like being a pickle, you can never be a cucumber again.)

When Suzanne and Michael (Champlin and Milner, our Oneness Trainers) were last with us he said that he had said to her one day: “Do you realize we are as dead as we are ever going to be?” That goes through my mind often and just tickles me because I get it. I am as dead as I am ever going to be. I am one and I get it.

I don’t think I have made this sound at all as drastic a change as it is. The pieces that seemed to fall into place were not big changes, they have just transformed my life in every way. I’m a grinning idiot and filled with joy every day. I haven’t been annoyed for more than seconds in months. My husband doesn’t even seem to be able to push any buttons because I don’t get hooked, I see what is really going on with him and it usually strikes me funny.

All of this seems to be continuing to intensify daily. (Everyone around me can also see it and wants what I have.)

In amazement and Oneness,

Bunni (Vaughan Healy)